Minka Kelly on her abortion: The smartest decision I couldve made
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Many women have been sharing their abortion stories using the hashtag that Busy Philipps started, #YouKnowMe, in light of the very scary, backwards laws sweeping the US, in Georgia, Ohio, Mississippi, Alabama and Missouri. (More on the states which are passing these laws, and the status of each, is in this article on CNN.)
Chandra/Kaiser and I talk about this in the opener to our next podcast, coming out Monday. We haven’t been covering these stories as much because we’re frankly sick to our stomachs about them. It reminds us very much of the #MeToo stories and how difficult they were to write about. The end game is to get one of these state laws to the Supreme Court so they can overturn Roe v. Wade, which is why someone paid off that alcoholic rapist’s debt and installed him there. We are living in Gilead, where they want us to have less control and say over our bodies than corpses do. Here are just a few of the #YouKnowMe stories and People has compiled more, including celebrities who have previously opened up about making reproductive choices. I’m leading with Minka Kelly in the title but there are so many more stories, some from women who are famous, some not. I’m including just a few below.
In 2012, I had an abortion. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. I still think about it to this day. But these truths do not make me regret my decision. It was the right choice for me, at that time in my life. I have not a single doubt about this. #YouKnowMe
— Amber Tamblyn (@ambertamblyn) May 16, 2019
I got pregnant as a result of a defective IUD. Growing up without a mom made me want nothing more than to be an amazing mother. As much as it killed me, I made the difficult decision that I wasn’t going to bring a child into this world until I was 100% ready to do that.#YouKnowMe
— ℰrica (@EricaADawson) May 17, 2019
I had an abortion when I was 18 years old. I’m not sure if I’ve ever talked about it on here but I’m not ashamed so I’m sharing today because if #youknowme then you know someone who has had an abortion.
— Zerlina Maxwell (@ZerlinaMaxwell) May 16, 2019
Here’s part of Minka’s story, from Instagram:
When I was younger I had an abortion. It was the smartest decision I could’ve made, not only for myself & my boyfriend at the time, but also for this unborn fetus.
For a baby to’ve been born to two people — too young and completely ill equipped — with no means or help from family, would have resulted in a child born into an unnecessary world of struggle.
Having a baby at that time would have only perpetuated the cycle of poverty, chaos and dysfunction I was born into.
Forcing a child to be born to a mother who isn’t ready, isn’t financially stable, was raped, a victim of incest (!!), isn’t doing that theoretical child any favors.
For those of you insisting abortion is murder, and to Rep. Terri Collins who said “an unborn baby is a person who deserves love and attention” — forget bringing up the mother might be in need of some “love and attention.” What do you think happens to these kids who end up bouncing around in foster care, live on government assistance because the mother has no help, can’t afford childcare while she works a minimum wage job, and is trapped in a cycle of trying to survive on the meager government assistance so many of you same pro-lifers are determined to also take away.
If you insist on forcing women to carry to term, why do you refuse to talk about comprehensive sex-ed, the maternal mortality rate, free daycare, paid maternity leave?
Our lives, traumas & family planning is for no one to decide but us. Certainly not a group of old white men.
There’s the pressure when covering these stories not only to discuss, but to emotionally come to terms with our own MeToo and abortion stories. I wasn’t able to acknowledge being assaulted, even to myself, until after I heard Dr. Ford’s testimony. I had worked to bury it for 30 years. By total luck of the draw I have never needed an abortion. I did have to do emergency contraception on my own with birth control pills well before the morning after pill was legalized. That was in the early 90s when a condom failed. (I wrote about that about a month ago and previously in 2006.) If my mom hadn’t bought the magazine describing how to do this, if I hadn’t read it and remembered, if I didn’t know when I ovulated, and if I didn’t happen to have old pills on hand my life would have turned out much differently. Or maybe not, because I knew where the clinic was. Abortion is health care and I’m scared for women younger than me, I’m scared for their partners including my son, I’m scared for our country and the way our rights are being systematically stripped from us.
This (below) has happened to me too:
I haven’t ever been in a position to need an abortion (thank god) but I have had men remove the condom/ejaculate inside me without my consent. Not everyone is so lucky, so if you’re iffy on abortion rights… go scroll through the #youknowme hashtag. Listen to the people affected
— the debaucherous dweeb (@debaucherousdwb) May 17, 2019
Also:
The #youknowme hashtag contains a lot of deeply powerful testimonials but it just kills me that every time something awful is happening, women have to air out their traumas to make you see us as people.
— Ashley (@ashleyfahs) May 16, 2019
Let’s look at Minka’s dog. Also where can I get that sweatshirt?
photos credit: Getty and via Instagram.
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